September Twenty Second
September 22nd ,
Thursday,
1:28 pm.
I am asking myself over and over again, will I be able to finally come close to touch my lifelong dream or is it going to stay a bitter almost in the recesses of my mind where pain resides, yet again, dutifully, as to hurt me, and remind me, to fail is to remember; god never promised to make me happy in this world, only to test me, even if it is in pain, more so with pain.
I don’t know how to recollect myself in words in a personal form. I always find it hard to articulate my being in precision when everything around me is unorganised chaos.
this will just be an honest attempt, an announcement of my arrival when all my life I’ve only been departing from myself, or an outlet; where I leave myself, only to come back and reflect: what changed.
I don’t know what to inform about this certain moment other than the fact that I feel like I am finally moving after 24 years of my life, and even though a part of me is happy, the rest of it is afraid, most of it is afraid.
what if I become static again? what if I turn into something I won’t be able to recognise? what if I wake up before I reach what i’ve been searching for all my life? what if I lose myself to the madness that wishes to consume me whole? most of all, what if, I succeed, and never stop moving?
exit: 1:43 pm.